On Posing for Acceptance

From age 12 to age 17, I spent every possible moment on a skateboard.  It was more than a hobby; it was a lifestyle.  It kept me out of a lot of trouble and played a big role in forming who I am today.

One of the terms that was born out of that culture and made it’s way into mainstream conversation is the word “poser.”

Posers were the guys who dressed like and acted like skaters, but weren’t.  They had Vans shoes, but no scuff marks from ollies.  They had a skater-haircut that hung perfectly in place over one of their eyes, but they never broke a sweat and got their hair messed up.  You get the picture.

A poser is a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not.  You probably know people who immediately come to mind when you hear the description.  But, before we get too judgmental, we need to admit the pressure we all feel to “pose” at times.  Why do we feel the need to act like something we’re not?

We all want to be known for something.  When there’s a discrepancy between what we want to be known for and what we really are,  there is a tendency to cover up, exaggerate or even lie to make people think we ARE what we want to be known for.  So, we act like we’re something that we’re not so people aren’t disappointed.  The problem is…..everybody has their own expectations of what you ought to be.  You can’t please everyone.  You have to be honest with yourself.

You might be thinking, “Well, if people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.”  But, remember this:

If you’re posing, they don’t like you anyway.

They don’t even know you.

They like the image you’ve been painting.

They haven’t had the opportunity to like you, because you are so good at covering up what you really are.  Your “posing” has robbed the people around you of the chance to see the real you….a unique individual with purpose and abilities.  That’s the danger of posing.  We think that we want to be known for something. What we really need is to be known by someone…and accepted.

You are worth knowing.  So drop the pose and let people know who you really are.  I don’t mean inappropriate or totally unguarded, just in line with who you are and who you want to be.

Let’s try it…