Video Interview with Midway Simplicity

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This past week, I sat down with Mohamed Tohami at Midway Simplicity to discuss simple living. We talked about my recent book Simpler: Declutter Your Life & Focus on What’s Most Important and other related topics.

Some of the questions we discuss in the video include:

  • What is our story and how did we get involved in simple living?
  • What challenges did we face when we first started decluttering?
  • What advice would I give to people who feel overwhelmed by too much clutter?
  • What tips would be helpful for people who feel like they don’t have time to declutter?
  • Do you have to be an “organized person” to declutter effectively?
  • What do I recommend about parting with sentimental items?
  • How can we stay focused on decluttering over time?
  • Is life naturally simple or complicated?
  • With a family, how do you deal with the social pressure to accumulate stuff?

You can watch it below, or CLICK HERE.

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So, what are your thoughts?

What questions or ideas did this discussion bring up for you?

Rhythm, Rest & Recharging

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Relax I was reminded of something very important this week: We have to maintain healthy rhythms.

I didn’t necessarily forget it or fail at it. I just bumped up against it and was reminded of it’s importance. We do not have unlimited amounts of energy and mental focus. At some point, we run out of gas and need to refuel.

When you’re trying to make a difference in your world, it is very easy to get consumed with your work and start to overdo it.

You know what I mean…

  • You get excited about a project and you begin working on it every chance you get.
  • You find yourself thinking about it all throughout the day.
  • You get creative motivation and you spend every waking moment “producing” something.
  • You get so busy working on your good idea that you neglect proper rest and exercise.
It’s good to get excited about your work. It’s good to produce. But it will serve you well to remember a few things:

1. You have limited capacity.

None of us can do every single thing we’d like to do. We can’t watch every movie, listen to every song, read every book, write every article, visit every museum, create every video. It can’t happen.

Our options are unlimited, but our resources are not.

We have to realize this and embrace it. We have to be able to deal with the fact that there are things we can’t do. There isn’t enough time. So, we will always be managing a degree of disappointment. That’s okay. We have to learn to say no.

2. You need rest.

Rest is recharge time. It’s when we fuel up for the next leg of our journey. It’s the source from which our capacity flows.

We MUST get sufficient sleep or we will not function at our maximum capacity. If not, we will be less focused, have less energy, and be generally unpleasant. You have to figure out how much sleep you need and then work to get that amount. You can sacrifice sleep in short amounts and only suffer minor consequences. But if you make it a habit, it will catch up to you and cause significant damage.

We also need times when we’re awake, but we just STOP producing. We’re not sleeping, but we’re doing something fun to recharge our batteries. Trivia and mindless entertainment and laying around are not good for us if we do them all the time. But, in appropriate doses, it can be just what the doctor ordered!

3. You are not defined strictly by what you produce.

Some people really struggle with this. It can be very unhealthy.

You are worth more than the number of widgets you crank out! Your value is not determined strictly by the amount of work you get done in a given week. Don’t fall for the lie that you are only worth keeping around if you are in full sweat and pulling a plow.

You have to have times when you slow down, stop working, and just enjoy life. Eat something you like. Hang out with a friend or family member. Sit in silence and think about how grateful you are for the things you have.

4. You will accomplish more by working a little less.

We push forward because we really want to get things done. Then we run out of time. So we decide to work a few more hours. It’s not enough so we work an extra day. Before we know it there is no margin.

And we suffer for it.

Our bodies wear down. Our focus gets blurry. We actually accomplish the same or less than we would had we rested appropriately. Our bodies and minds seem to be designed to work best when we maintain a rhythm of rest and production.

How are you doing in this area?

What steps do you need to take to implement appropriate rest into your schedule?

 *Photo: akzidenzetzer (CC) 

3 MORE Things to Consider about Relational Clutter

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UntitledIn our last post, we talked about how we have to declutter our relationships so we can focus on the most important people to us. We mentioned the first three things to consider:

  1. Remember, people are more important than things.
  2. Acknowledge the fact that you only have so much relational capacity.
  3. Invest in the masses, but put most of your effort in the few most important relationships.

But remember, relationships can be complicated. We are all very unique, emotional beings. It’s hard to draw hard lines on how we should interact because each relational dynamic is so different.

With that being said, I offer 3 MORE things to consider when navigating those waters:

4- Seek close relationships.

If you aren’t sure who to invest in, I recommend that you make this a priority. If you don’t feel close to anyone, it’s worth investigating “why?”. It’s my opinion that life can be quite bland without committed relationships. Don’t miss out on the joy of deep friendship.

You are likeable and worth spending time with. Find those people who feel the same way and enjoy life.

5- Get out of poisonous relationships.

Seriously. No joke.

There are times when the best thing you can do is to get out. If someone is hurting you or tearing you down, that’s not healthy. If the relationship is a constant life-drain, it doesn’t do you or the other person any good to stay in that dysfunction.

Now, let me qualify a few things.

I’m NOT recommending that you operate out of straight selfishness. Your needs are important, but if you only seek to have your needs met, you will not find deep relationships. You have to meet other people’s needs.

I’m NOT recommending that you abandon people that are your responsibility to care for. You may not like the person, but, if they are your responsibility, you should never abandon them. Make sure they are cared for.

I think you understand what I’m saying.

It takes courage. But life is too short to spend in unhealthy relationships. If you can’t repair it, and you have a choice, get out now! Set yourself and the other person free to learn and go forward.

6- Let love drive your decisions.

We have to be careful about how we handle these sensitive situations. These are people’s lives. We have to make sure that we consider people’s feelings and circumstances as we navigate.

Let love be the filter through which you make your decisions.

Ask yourself things like:

  • -What is good for everyone involved?
  • -What is healthy?
  • -What is reasonable?
  • -How can I do this in such a way that it builds people up?

To be honest, the words “Decluttering your relationships” feels a bit cold, doesn’t it? It depends on how you look at it and how you approach it. If you treat people like things to be manipulated, it is very cold.

If you approach this process with an understanding that you are seeking a life of intentional, loving investment, then it’s not cold at all. In fact, it’s the noble thing to do.

Your time is limited. Give yourself some time to think through your relationships and determine which ones need to go, and which ones need more attention.

 *Photo:*_Abhi_* (CC) 

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(This post is a modified excerpt from my recently released eBook on decluttering our lives. It’s called Simpler and it’s available at Amazon.com)

3 Things to Consider about Relational Clutter

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people like us“Seriously, Mike? ‘Relational Clutter’? How can you talk about people like that?”

I understand. It does sound a little weird. Let me explain and I think you’ll feel better about it when we’re done.

We have more potential for connection than ever before.

The internet has created nearly unlimited opportunity for friends, followers, members, etc. And that’s on top of our face-to-face relationships.

If we don’t pay attention, we may find ourselves overwhelmed with everyone’s relational expectations.

Just like every other area of our lives, we have to declutter our relationships so we can focus on the most important people to us.

There are times when we have to take an honest look at how many people we are engaging with and what kind of time we’re spending with them. Then, we have to figure out what needs to change.

It’s not cold. It’s actually pretty warm. It’s driven by our desire to focus on the most important relationships.

The answers are different for everyone. Your social life doesn’t have to look like your friend’s, but it DOES have to work for you. You may have to end relationships, or, at least, limit the interactions. In other situations, you just have to get more creative in how you approach them.

It can be a sticky job. I definitely don’t have the “home-run” tactics for making it run smoothly. But, here are some things to consider as you begin:

1- Remember, people are more important than things.

The people in your life are way more important than your things. Treat them, and this process, accordingly.

2- Acknowledge the fact that you only have so much relational capacity.

You can’t be everything for everyone. Your time and emotions can only go so far. Your ability to connect deeply is greater than most people think, but it IS limited.

3- Invest in the masses, but put most of your effort in the few most important relationships.

Here’s a sobering thought…Most people WILL forget us.

I’m not trying to be negative….just honest.

These thoughts reminded me that I can’t get my entire identity from my job or even the “crowd” of people I associate with. The crowds around us can be intoxicating and deceiving.

I can only REALLY make a significant difference in the lives of a few people. It would be a shame for me to dilute my efforts over hundreds of people and not be effective with the few most important relationships.

I should love people and invest wherever I can, but I have to make sure that I am focused on those that are clearly inside my tightest circle of influence. This is true in your job situation as well as your personal life (friends, family, etc.)

There’s only so much of you.

When you’re trying to decide which relationships to invest in, ask your self the absence question…. “Who will remember me when I’m gone?”

Who’s going to be at your funeral? When you’re old and sick, who’s going to take care of you? Who would miss you the most? You may want to prioritize those people over everyone else. They’re the ones who REALLY love you. They are likely to be the ones who need you the most each day.

We’ll talk about a few more things to consider in our next post. But, for today…

How are you investing in and prioritizing the most important people in your life?

 *Photo:*_Abhi_* (CC) 

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(This post is a modified excerpt from my recently released eBook on decluttering our lives. It’s called Simpler and it’s available at Amazon.com)

simpler FREE announce BIGGER

Simpler eBook FREE for 3 days!

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simpler FREE announce BIGGERAs you know, we launched our new eBook this week. I’ve been very encouraged by the feedback!

It seems to be helping people, so I want to get it into more people’s hands!

Amazon’s KDP Select program is allowing me to give the book away for FREE for the next 3 days!

Will you help me spread the word?

Here’s how you can help:

1- Download it yourself.

If you don’t already have it, go for it! And don’t feel bad! I want you to have it! :)

(It will reflect a $0.00 price from 12 am Thursday morning [PST] until midnight Saturday night)(June 6-8)

CLICK HERE to get your copy!

2- Share this post via Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, email, smoke signals, or whatever other form of communication you use!

Seriously, I want you to get this into the hands of your friends, families, and tribes! There are share buttons on the bottom and sides of this post. You can also find related info at:

Twitter. @mikemikeburns and Facebook.com/theothersideofcomplexity

If you are an email subscriber, forward this email along to your peeps.

You get the idea! Share it!

3- Rate & Review it on Amazon.

It helps it move up the charts…which means more people see it.

Here’s what people are saying about Simpler:

“This book is highly engaging. Mike has the unique ability to communicate important truths in an easy-to-understand, highly-inspirational way. This book will motivate you to simplify life and focus on what’s most important.”     - Joshua Becker   (blogger at becomingminimalist.com and bestselling author of Simpify and Living with Less)
‘Simpler’ is a great read that covers the essentials of simple living. What’s wonderfully different is that Mike establishes up-front that life isn’t simple. In fact, it’s often incredibly complicated. And instead of giving a one size fits all approach to creating a simpler life, he asks us one incredibly important question – “What is most important…to you? It’s asking ourselves that one question that will unlock the door to a simpler, happier, more fulfilling life. I couldn’t recommend this book more.” – Brooke McAlary  (blogger at slowyourhome.com and author of Destination:Simple)
You can read 11 customer reviews HERE.

Thanks for helping me get the word out!

Enjoy!

simpler all 3 devices

Drastic Measures

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Loft
In most of my posts, I present a “rational” approach to simplicity.

Most of the changes I recommend are about tweaks and adjustments…not wholesale do-overs.

But sometimes we need more.

Sometimes, we need to scrap things and start over, rather than try to repair something that is broken.

I know some people are prone to making extreme, flighty decisions. This can be unhealthy if you are always jumping around from job to job, city to city, relationship to relationship, career to career. I don’t think it should be our norm, necessarily.

But I DO think we should be willing to take drastic measures if that is what is required.

At times, the best thing to do is:

  • -quit the job and pursue the new thing.
  • -sell everything in the house and move to another city.
  • -end the unhealthy relationship ASAP and move on.
  • -empty your closet of everything except those 5-10 items that you know you love.
  • -close your account on that social media site.
  • -get rid of your TV or your cell phone.
  • -go totally paperless in your office or home.
  • -quit college and start a business.
  • -quite your business and go to college.
  • -do something extreme so you can focus on what you love most.

(Obviously, by extreme, I mean things that are legal, safe and appropriate. I had to throw in the disclaimer!)

None of these things are ALWAYS the thing to do, but they should not be counted out as options.

When should you do these types of things?

I’m not sure. That’s up to you.

You know your life WAY better than the rest of us. You know your situation and the details involved.

I’ve done my share of these types of things in my adult life when they were necessary. I don’t regret those decisions. In fact, I’m still doing it today…

Recently, our family sold most of our belongings (except for what we could fit in a tiny rental trailer) and moved across the country to be closer to some of our relatives. Family is a priority for us.

I also changed my career direction after nearly 20 years in one field. It was time. I have new things I want to pursue.

You can do the same, if you’d like.

I’m not trying to push you into something you don’t want to do. I just don’t want you to feel limited by your current circumstances.

Life is too short to waste doing things we don’t have to do.

If you’re standing in crap, step out of it.

If you’re drowning, drain the pool.

If you are miserable, figure out what you need to do to find healthy, sustainable relationships.

You can do this!

Eliminate the unnecessary in your life, and pursue that which is most important to you!

  • Are there areas in your life, today, that require “drastic measures”?
  • What decisions need to be made?
  • What is your next step?
 *Photo: Rooey202 (CC) 

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(This post is a modified excerpt from my recently released eBook on decluttering our lives. It’s called Simpler and it’s available at Amazon.com for $3.99)

simpler blog post announce

NEW eBook available today!

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simpler blog post announce

Today is “launch day” for an eBook I’ve been working on over the past several months.

Much of the content “saw the light of day” for the first time here on the blog. Many of you made suggestions on what you’d like to see in the book, and I wrote additional content to address those areas.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, this will feel familiar. For those who are fairly new to the blog, this will be a helpful guide for the approach to simplicity that we recommend.

“This book is highly engaging. Mike has the unique ability to communicate important truths in an easy-to-understand, highly-inspirational way. This book will motivate you to simplify life and focus on what’s most important.”     - Joshua Becker   (blogger at becomingminimalist.com and bestselling author of Simpify and Living with Less)

I wanted to produce a “jump-start” guide to decluttering our lives. Obviously, I don’t cover everything. But I tried to touch on those things that most people tend to ask about when it comes to simplifying our lives.

The content is broken into two sections:

  • Part One: A Case for a Simpler Life
  • Part Two: Practical Tips for Decluttering

You can see the entire Table of Contents on the Amazon book page.

CLICK HERE to purchase the book.

Thanks again for your input!

If you read the book, write a review and let me know what you think.

Share the link with others so we can spread the message of simplicity.

Enjoy!

simpler all 3 devices

 

How to Declutter Any Space at Home or Work

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(This post is an excerpt from my upcoming book on decluttering our lives.)

Hammer365: 166/199 Where Things Happen
Bedrooms and kitchens and desks and copier rooms get all cluttered up and messy.

We feel it when we walk through and it hinders our focus.

Whether the areas of neglect are due to: huge stashes of yarn, scrapbooking supplies, soccer equipment, bills, tools, toys, dishes, manuals, office supplies, photographs, coffee mugs or DVDs….they all have to be dealt with.

…and some ideas work for most everything.

So whether you’re decluttering a box of toys or your entire office, here are some ideas for a process to use.

1- Don’t do it all at once.

We sometimes get overwhelmed because the task feels too big! The piles are more than we think we can handle all at once. So don’t.

  • Pick one drawer.
  • One storage bin.
  • One corner of the room.
  • One desktop.

This you can do!

The little successes will benefit you immediately, but they will also encourage you to do greater things!

So take it in chunks.

2- Set aside a sufficient amount of time for the job at hand.

Whatever portion of the mess you decide to take on, you have to make sure you give yourself enough time. Otherwise, it will backfire and work against you. It can be very discouraging to run out of time on a declutter job and end with a bigger mess than you started with. Whether it will require 10 minutes or 3 hours, give yourself enough time.

3- Put everything in one spot.

Take everything in that space and put it in one spot. Depending on the sizes of the objects, you may put them in a box, a bin, a bag or just a large pile. It doesn’t matter. But put it all together in one space. This way, you get to see all the clear space around the pile immediately. It feels good. It also helps you see exactly what you have to work with.

4- Pick up the items one at a time, top to bottom, only touching them once.

Fight the temptation to just shuffle through the mess! Start at the top and work your way down.

When you pick them up, ask yourself these two questions:

“What is this?”  and  “What do I need to do with it?”

Be honest with yourself.

When was the last time you used it? Will that person who gave it to you really be offended if you don’t keep it? Can you take a picture of it and store the memory without letting it take up precious real estate?

5- Put each item into one of four piles.

Again, you may use boxes, bins, bags or other containers. The sorting is what’s important.

Everything will fit into one of the following four categories:

  1. Keep
  2. Give away
  3. Sell
  4. Trash

Write the titles on a card or sheet of paper and place it in front of the corresponding pile.

If you struggle with deciding what to keep, consider making a 5th pile: “Decide later”. Then, pick a time to revisit it. That’s not cheating. At least you got it off of the floor! Giving yourself a little time may help you decide more clearly.

When you finish sorting, make sure each of the “Keeps” have a home and keep them there. Put the “Give aways” in the car and drop them off ASAP. Determine how and when you will sell your “Sells”. Put the “Trash” where it belongs. Put your “Decide laters” out of sight.

6- Put action items on your calendar or to-do list.

When you are processing, take note of “To-do” items that surface. Fight the temptation to leave the object out as a reminder to do something. We have to be very careful about this. In my opinion, there are few times when this is the best option. It works, sometimes, but it is a HUGE contributor to cluttered spaces. And, when there’s clutter, the reminders don’t work anyway, because you don’t notice the specific object.

7- Enjoy the freedom of your redeemed space!

No, seriously! Don’t forget that you are decluttering for a reason. It’s not and end in itself.

The most important thing isn’t cleaning up the mess. The most important thing is doing the most important things.

So use this newfound physical space and uncluttered mind to do something awesome!

  • -Spend time with people you love.
  • -Make something that people will read, watch, eat, enjoy.
  • -Think about how you can change the world around you.
  • -Take a nap or go for a walk.

What space do you have that needs to be decluttered?

What will you do with your newfound freedom and recently decluttered space?

 *Photo: David Reber (CC) 

Is Minimalism Naïve?

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(This post is an excerpt from my upcoming book on decluttering our lives.)

Common Grounds

Can I tell you some things you already know?

  • Things don’t always work out according to plan.
  • Stuff breaks.
  • Relationships get awkward.
  • Jobs are eliminated.
  • Emergency Room visits rack up unexpected bills.
  • Cars break down before you finish paying for them.
  • Paint fades.
  • Roofs leak.

Depressed, yet?

I know the items in this list sound negative, but they’re true.

Life can get complicated.

Ignoring the facts doesn’t do us any good. Life isn’t always easy.

Some people allow this realization to hinder them from pursuing simplicity. They push back against the idea that you can eliminate clutter and focus on your priorities. They surrender to the chaos and assume that it will always be this way.

I understand where they’re coming from, but I feel bad for them. There is more to the story.

Simple is relative. It’s better realized when compared to the alternative.

Wherever you are, things can get simpl…er. In fact, if you really work at it, you can even get it down to where you drop the “r” and just call it plain “simple”. When compared to the whirlwind you see around you, your life can look like a peaceful walk on the beach.

Hopefully, you hear the honesty in my approach. I’m not going to make any promises about a trouble-free life where everything is serene and natural.

Simplicity takes work.

But it’s good work. And it’s worth it.

It’s not the “easy way out”. It comes with effort. But the value is great.

There is a famous quote that has been attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Perhaps you’ve heard it.

He said, “For the simplicity on this side of complexity, I wouldn’t give you a fig. But for the simplicity on the other side of complexity, for that I would give you anything I have.”

As is the case with all fairly-old quotations, these words are used in a variety of ways to prove a variety of things. I’m not going to try to prove anything with them. They just inspire me. In fact, this quote is the source from which I chose the name of my blog.

Here’s what it triggers in my mind: An idea of simplicity that doesn’t acknowledge the fact that life is complicated is naïve. However, there is a different kind of simplicity that is found when we don’t surrender and keep working toward it.

That’s the kind of simplicity I am realizing. It’s a more realistic simplicity. Joshua Becker, of becomingminimalist.com, calls it “rational minimalism”.

You may be thinking to yourself, “Nice quote, Mike, but what do I DO about it?”

Good question.

Here are four things to get you started:

1- Scrap the unrealistic ideal.

It doesn’t help anyone when we paint an unattainable picture of a life with no complication or drama. Whether we communicate it blatantly, or by implication, we do ourselves and the people around us a disservice. Life isn’t easy.

2- Embrace conflict.

It happens. We should get used to it. We don’t have to like it. We just have to accept it as a reality that will be with us for the rest of our lives.

3- Don’t be content to live your entire life as a slave to the whirlwind.

Accept that conflict is a reality, but REFUSE to let it stop you from going forward. You are not doomed to being the victim.

4- Work through the complexity and find focus.

As you encounter resistance and things get more complex, learn from them. Push through the mess and find the clearing on the other side. Many people never do. They drown in trivia. Don’t let that be the case in your life.

If you look around, you will find plenty of people who are overwhelmed with all sorts of things. In fact, at times, it feels like they are the majority.

But there are also others who have determined that life is too short to be cynical. They are learning that there is joy to be found in a life lived in spite of the negative things that try to hinder us.

That’s what I want for my life. How about you?

 *Photo: Britt Selvitelle (CC) 

What’s Most Important…To You?

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(The following is an excerpt from a chapter in my upcoming book on decluttering our lives.)

What's important?
Decluttering isn’t an end in itself.

It’s a tool to help you accomplish what’s most important.

You are “clearing space” so you can do something worthwhile. If you don’t know what’s important to you, why are you clearing space?

If you aren’t clear about the important things in your life, I recommend you set aside some time to think about it…deeply.

You don’t want to bypass this step.

Ask yourself some of the tough questions and don’t give up until you’ve got a list of things worth focusing on.

Here are a few primer questions to get you started:

  • What are the things that I couldn’t live without?
  • Who are the people that I love most?
  • Who are the people that depend on me most?
  • What are my greatest passions?
  • What causes or ideas excite me or bring emotion?
  • When my life is over, who will be present at my funeral?
  • What will I want them to say about me when I’m gone?

These are definitely not exhaustive, but they will help you in the right direction. You can determine your own questions to answer.

You may also consider asking trusted friends or family members what they think is important to you, based on what they see in your life. This can be an incredible learning experience.

But, be prepared! It can also be very revealing and you may not hear exactly what you think you’ll hear! Regardless, it will help you learn about yourself.

Please don’t neglect this. You have to know what you’re shooting for so you’ll know how to aim.

Have you done this recently?

What things are most important to you?

Share them with the rest of us in the comments.

 *Photo: Valerie Everett (CC)